You Might as Well Laugh Rather Than Cry


There’s not much good that comes out of a financial situation like the one our country (and the world) is experiencing. The slight exception might be some of the jokes or satirical analyses that emerge.

Such as an e-mail from a former co-worker at 4:40 a.m. one morning (maybe he was up worrying about his retirement funds) with new definitions for some common terms. We’ll share a few here:

  • Financial planner — a guy whose phone has been disconnected
  • Cash flow — the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
  • Institutional investor — past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse
  • Yahoo — what you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share
  • Windows — what you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share
  • P/E ratio — the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing

Or there’s the fact that if you spent $1,000 one year ago on the following stocks, the values today would be: less than $5 for Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac; $6.60 for Lehman Brothers or a whopping $42 for AIG.

In comparison, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer, drank it and turned in all the cans for recycling, you would have $214. The drink heavily and recycle plan is also known as 401-Keg.

Remember, things will get better.

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