WARNING: Do Not Hold Wrong End of Chainsaw — May Cause Discomfort


The latest edition of the Heartland Institute’s "Lawsuit Abuse Fortnightly" newsletter has some gems. For example:

The top prize winner in the “Wacky Warning Label” contest sponsored by Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse and the Parent Bloggers Network? The label on a chainsaw that warned: “Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.”

One runner-up was the label on a rocking chair: “Do not eat The Rocker or anything included with The Rocker, including, but not limited to, nuts, bolts, tags, cardboard, packaging, plastic bags, plastic pieces, styrofoam, unpopped popcorn kernels, etc. Attempting to eat these things may result in injury, death, or at the very least, discomfort while passing these items through your digestive system from entry to exit.”

“The growing number of frivolous lawsuits has prompted manufacturers to cover all their bases where it comes to warning labels on products,” according to the Parent Bloggers Network. “These labels may be funny, but lawsuit abuse costs all of us money. Let’s bring common sense back.”

You should really read the entire rundown here. I especially like the Yale University student who is suing an airline for $1 million for allegedly stealing his souped-up Xbox (worth an estimated $1,000), citing "noneconomic distress." Noneconomic distress? Look, if I can’t sue somebody for that reason each time my morning alarm clock radio kicks on with a Jason Mraz song, then this guy can’t use it either.

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