Can you bear to look at bare kitchen cabinets?

Right now, you’re either wondering where in the world I’m going with this blog or you’re nodding your head knowingly at my use of homonyms. I was inspired to pen that fun (at least, I think it’s fun!) bear vs. bare sentence after receiving an amusing e-mail from a colleague about how confusing the English language can be.

I admit it! I love words and the stories they tell – whether it’s through prose in a book, lyrics in a song or verses in a poem. It’s similar in the business world. The words we use (and the way we present them) share a story about our organization. And no matter where we work or what we do, we want our communications to be professional and error free.

Below, I’ve included a few of my favorite sentences from my co-worker’s e-mail. Even if you’re not a grammar buff like me, you may find the information entertaining – and useful!

• The bandage was wound around the wound.
• The farm was used to produce produce.
• The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
• The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
• Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
• When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
• There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
• A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
• Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
• I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

With Black Friday quickly approaching, gift giving is on my mind. As visions of loved ones opening their presents dance in my head, a less heartwarming thought creeps in: how to deal with poor customer service.

I’m not talking about retailers’ professionalism – I’m referring to impolite (and often downright rude) – customers.

I’ll never forget the year that a new employee was working the day after Thanksgiving at one of my favorite stores. As I stood in a long line for what felt like an eternity, I enviously watched shoppers in the other lines pay for their items and leave. Was I frustrated? Yes. Was I envisioning cookies from the food court as lunchtime approached and my stomach started growling? Of course. But some of my fellow shoppers were acting like they wanted to take a bite out of the rookie!

I’ve never seen so many people angrily rolling their eyes or folding their arms at once. I wanted to shout, “’Bah humbug!” at the top of my lungs. Fortunately, I refrained.

As the holiday season gets underway, the following tips on how to be a good customer may enhance your shopping experience and make an employee’s workday a bit more merry:

• Do your homework and ask questions. Check out consumer recalls before purchasing toys and gifts for children. Know what the warranty covers, learn the store’s return policy, make sure you will be able to pay off a cartful of merchandise you put on layaway and check out online reviews.
• Practice patience. Holidays and resulting crowds can put even the most patient on edge. Rather than attack a store employee because a product is not in stock or because the checkout line is a mile long, remember what your mother taught you about always being polite. "Please," "thank you" and "have a nice day" are words that can never be said too much.
• Be courteous. Those long checkout lines often arise because customers are not prepared to present items for check out or have their credit card or check ready when it’s time to make payment. Do not get mad if the store will not honor competitors’ coupons; check before you go to the store.
• Do your part: Standing at the cash register is not the time to suddenly realize you have neither wallet nor checkbook. It is definitely not the time for a conversation on your cell phone.

Don’t let my positive attitude fool you; I am a world-class worrier.

Just because I view the glass as half full doesn’t mean I’m immune to stress – whether it’s financial, work related, physical or mental.

Fortunately, I’ve discovered throughout the years that laughter truly is the best medicine. It’s certainly helped me weather life’s storms. But, since I can’t walk around cackling like the Joker all day long (that may freak people out), I’ve found other ways to alleviate stress.

Curling up with a book, watching a movie (especially 1980s Molly Ringwald classics) and writing poetry always helps me relax. Another outlet is music (bring on the Beatles)!

Looking for more tips? The Wellness Council of Indiana helps employers across the state create and enhance wellness programs. Stress management is an important element.

In addition, the Mayo Clinic web site lists the top 10 stress relievers. Here is an excerpt:

1. Get active
2. Virtually any form of exercise and physical activity can act as a stress reliever. Even if you’re not an athlete or you’re out of shape, exercise is still a good stress reliever. Physical activity pumps up your feel-good endorphins and refocuses your mind on your body’s movements, improving your mood and helping the day’s irritations fade away.
3. Meditate
4. During meditation, you focus your attention and eliminate the stream of jumbled thoughts that may be crowding your mind and causing stress. Meditation instills a sense of calm, peace and balance that benefits both your emotional well-being and your overall health.
5. Laugh

A good sense of humor can’t cure all ailments, but it can help you feel better, even if you have to force a fake laugh through your grumpiness. When you start to laugh, it lightens your mental load and actually causes positive physical changes in your body.

Standing in line at Starbucks last week waiting to order my beloved iced tea, a colorful barista board caught my eye. Written upon it was a short, but sweet message – “Indulge in the comforts of fall” – and it struck something in me.

Have I been squandering opportunities to experience Autumn’s simple pleasures this year? Unfortunately, the answer is yes. But, the good news is that there’s plenty of time left to enjoy them.

Eating caramel apples (hold the nuts); roasting marshmallows; raking (and playing in) crisp, crunchy leaves – these are among my cherished childhood memories. I don’t know about you, but I’ll never outgrow these cherished childhood traditions.

Fall also reminds me of Halloween, scary movies and exhibits, spooky tales and haunted houses (just don’t invite me to go with you. The last time I went to a haunted house, I nearly had a heart attack I was so terrified).

Another way to savor fall is to take advantage of outdoor activities. Hay rides, hikes, scenic road trips and visits to apple orchards or pumpkin patches, for instance, hold a special allure before winter descends (perish the thought).

There’s an especially sweet “treat” that comes with your pursuit of fall activities: a boost for Indiana’s businesses.

It’s not a pretty sight.

Your colleague is frantically searching through piles of papers for an important business document. Manila folders and their contents are soaring through the air. An hour later, he’s still rummaging away, wasting valuable time that should have been spent on a long to-do list.

A recent survey says this scenario is all too common.

More than 50% of respondents acknowledged the need to improve how they manage business information. The majority lamented the extensive amount of time they devote to current practices as well as the large volume of storage space needed.

Other interesting tidbits:

• Thirty-plus percent of respondents said that it takes up to four weeks to get paper-based business documents filed.
• Forty percent estimated spending between eight to 12 hours per month filing current business documents and business-related paper.
• Thirty-three percent of respondents said it takes up to one hour to find and retrieve a file from paper storage.
• Sixty percent of those who utilize filing cabinets and/or paper storage said up to 15% of their office or work space is currently occupied by filing cabinets.
• Twenty-one percent of respondents still keep between 11 and 30 boxes of archived paper in less accessible document storage areas.

I found out something today about pet pampering that has my tongue wagging (sorry, I couldn’t resist).

It seems that the tokens of affection I present to my pets – extra comfy beds, entertaining toys, trips to the groomer and tasty treats – pale in comparison to the way others dote on their animals.

According to the American Pet Products Association (APPA), U.S. pet owners will spend an estimated $50.84 billion in 2011. What in the world are people spending so much money on?

Food expenses top the list at $19.53 billion. Medical care also ranks high. But, pet owners also are dishing out dollars for luxuries such as massages, manicures, designer duds, travel gear and spa days. Hey, I’ve never had a spa day! Not unless you count the time I had my eyebrows arched and for one terrifying moment thought half of one was missing.

Don’t fret, my pet (just bear with me), it’s not all give and take. The APPA cites several health benefits of pet ownership. Among them:

• Pets help to lower blood pressure. A recent study at the State University of New York at Buffalo found that people with hypertension who adopted a cat or dog had lower blood pressure readings in stressful situations than those who did not own a pet.
• Pets help to prevent heart disease. Because pets provide people with faithful companionship, research shows they may also provide their owners with greater psychological stability, thus a measure of protection from heart disease.
• Pets help to fight depression. Pets help fight depression and loneliness, promoting an interest in life. When seniors face adversity or trauma, affection from pets takes on great meaning. Their bonding behavior can foster a sense of security.

Learn more

Remember the Game of Life board game? My favorite part was pretending to be the banker, which meant I counted and distributed the “play” money. That exercise helped illustrate a basic – but crucial – “life” lesson: When you run out of money, there’s no more to spend.

As an adult, you learn that’s only partially true – especially with credit cards, which pave a tempting path to overspending.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but here’s what I do as I longingly gaze at advertisements for Hawaiian vacations or elegant – but expensive – wardrobe styles: Begin silently singing what’s become my spending anthem – the Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”

I read an interesting Accumulating Money article describing a few reasons why people overspend. It notes that 43% of families shell out more than they earn each year. Here’s an excerpt: 

Keeping up with the Joneses – Psychology plays a big role in our spending habits. We want to feel as successful or more successful than those around us. We spend a lot of money to keep up that image. The reality is, the neighbors probably can’t afford that new boat either.

Plastic doesn’t feel like real money – It’s common to spend more when using credit cards than cash. The experience of handing over a card that you get back is just not the same as handing over some cold hard cash and seeing it disappear.

Immediate gratification – It’s all around us. We’re bombarded with the immediate gratification mentality. “Instant pain relief,” “fast food,” “on demand video” and the big financial one, “buy now, pay later.” We’re too used to getting what we want now even if we don’t know how we’ll pay later.

Can’t say no – Some people feel like a failure when they can’t meet the wants of others. Whether it’s new toys for the kids, new outfit for the spouse or a night out with the friends, some people just can’t say no, even when they can’t afford to say yes.